Blonde Ambition?

I was a Blonde for 24 years (natural, thanks) and now I’m not. Almost three years ago, I walked out of a salon with dark, chestnut brown hair that reminds me of my mom’s braids when I was little. And even with the 0.5-2″ roots that my laziness and financial straits often incur, I figure almost 3 years is more than enough time to make me an expert on certain issues. And when I say “issues,” I mean, “stupid questions people always ask.”

I’ll start with the most obvious: “So, do gentlemen really prefer blondes?”

Gentlemen is perhaps a relative term. If you’re talking about the random fellas in the local establishments, in their identical collared “going out shirts” and jeans… well, sure, for our purposes today, we’ll call them Gentlemen.

In that case, my expert opinion is that “Gentlemen prefer Women.” Period. End stop. I should point out, though: once they decide to single out a particular woman, Gentlemen treat Blondes and Brunettes much differently.

Try being a waitress. Or working in an office. Or going to a club. Or walking down the street. When you go from one extreme to the next, a single gentleman just doesn’t know which game to give. Here’s a f’rinstance:

BlondeMe, standing by the bar, alone, waiting for a friend with a highball glass in hand.

Random Gentleman: Hey, you should be careful there.

BlondeMe: Oh yeah? Why’s that?

RG: A pretty girl by herself… You’d better watch out for these guys.

Now, let’s go for the alternate ending…

Random Gentleman: Hey, you should be careful there.

BrunetteMe: Oh yeah? Why’s that?

RG: A beautiful woman by herself… These guys better watch out for you.

All in all, a pretty basic interaction. I kid you not. (You see why women crave a great first-liner?) And now for the extended analysis:

Blonde=pretty=cute=helpless, and in need of protection from big strong Random Gentleman. Blondes are also seen as more approachable, and often attract: young, earnest Gentlemen; socially awkward Gentlemen of every age; and sweet old Gentlemen.

Related adjectives: Adorable, perky, sweet, innocent, playful, easy target.

Brunette=sexy=wild=predatory, and just looking for the right kill… perhaps Random Gentleman. Brunettes are also seen as more “up for it.” This means: young, cocky Gentlemen; slick, smooth talkers of every age; and dirty old Gentlemen.

Related adjectives: Hot, sultry, teasing, drama-queen, malicious, sneaky.

A naturel

Au naturel

Don’t believe me? That’s cool, it’s just one gal’s opinion, and –admittedly– a fairly encapsulated one. But take a look around the next time you go out… who’s chatting who? And how? Better yet, maybe you should get dyed yourself… after all, you might have more fun.


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