Step right up, ladies and gentleman, step right up!
Welcome to the Winter Sicky SideShow!
I offer up for your sympathy and entertainment…
The Diverse & Varied
of ONE WOMAN’S Annual Misery!
No photos, please. It’s all too horrifying.
The Woman in the Surgical Mask
Captured and caged by the brave and wiley Dr.’s Office Receptionists. Her hands are slathered in purifying agents for her own –and your!– protection, half her face obliterated by the the pristine folds of medical-quality masking. Hide her blasting germs from the public’s inhalation! Who knows what terrors lurk behind the mask?
The Weaving Sedated Sphinx
Fully tanked on codeine and other mystical elixirs, she’ll say anything, sleep anywhere. Her heavy-lidded focus lies somewhere between the now and the future. Scholars take note! Her ramblings may be incoherent to the general populace, but the attuned ear and inner eye may yet decipher the the secrets of eternal youth! Keep her well away from electrical sources and automobiles.
No, she’s not batting for the Giants. She doesn’t even play sports. But this experimental petri-dish is somehow empowered. How exactly? No one knows. What lasting effects will be wrought on her physic by the “accelerated application” of science and steroids? We can only wait and watch…
The One-Sentence Wonder
Never before has the world witnessed such blatant disparity between written verbosity and the truncated spoken word! Her powers of speech are driven and curtailed by some outside force, larger than you or me! Listen closely to her measured pronouncements… she’ll race against time and the all-consuming cough to answer your queries and burning concerns. No refunds for incomplete answers.
All described drug usage is legal and prescribed by an overseeing physician. Of terror.