Are we growing up here?

If we are, I’m not sure I like it. Like some slowly drifting scent on the wind—like cold spring that sticks in your hair, even though it’s the warmest day yet this year—I can’t shake a sense of changing things. There’s this unsettling shift from what one must do to be happy to what one must do to be logical, to live up to responsibility and all that.

Maybe it’s a phase. Maybe it’s a short term reaction to get us to long-term happiness. Maybe it’s a way of re-centering, mapping out new possibilities without leaving the old plans in the dust. I like that last one.

Or maybe this is just what happens, until it doesn’t anymore.

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One thought on “Are we growing up here?

  1. Emilie, what’s happening is the crazy, weird, painful, beautiful identity crisis that comes with having a baby. I see you mired in it and I wish I could reach in and pull you out, becasue I SO GET IT. It is so crazy to be having a baby who you love already more than yourself, to be becoming the mother you imagined all your life you would be, but still to have part of yourself that you can’t even acknowledge screaming WAIT! NOOOO!

    All I can say, my freind, is that is gets better. It gets so much better. XOXO

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