I have to come clean about something; a personal affinity, or perhaps an affliction—
I suppose it depends on your viewpoint. Either way, it’s time to fess up. And what better forum for confession than the one of my own making? (If you can’t bare your soul in public on a blog, then where can you, eh?)
I love facebook quizzes.
Specifically, I love those fb quizzes that use a mere 10-or-less questions (of varying degrees of intelligence and articulation) to make grand, sweeping generalizations about your character, personality, talents, vocation, religious and political affiliations, love life, future, and past. I think that covers all of them, yes?
Seriously, I don’t care if the quiz was created by a Harvard professor, Vanity Faire magazine, or a 15 year old. I will happily decide between any multiple choice scenario, no matter how inane, vague, or–sometimes, yes–insightful.
Now what I don’t usually do is post the results to my actual fb profile page. Why inflict everyone else with my time-waster of choice? Usually.
But sometimes I feel I simply must share… with restraint, of course. But really, I think one measly little quiz result every couple of months is truly harmless, particularly when compared to all the silly posts about who found what kind of vegetable/egg/flag/shoe/explosive device.
Perhaps it’s a holdover from my pre-teen days, when no Sassy magazine quiz went ignored, or maybe it’s deeply tied to the part of me that faithfully reads my horoscope and birth-sign descriptions, even though I believe that God has a plan for me and I am responsible for my own character… and even when the paper is a week old. It’s just that these kinds of sort-me-in-a-box things are just so… fun, y’know?
For instance, when I took the “What kind of Lutheran are you?” quiz, it turns out I’m a Practical Lutheran.
By coincidence (or is it?) so is the husband.
“…well-balanced, good-hearted, faithful church member who keeps congregations alive and thriving. If only we could clone you! But, of course, that would be wrong. So we’ll just have to settle for appreciating you and hoping that others will follow your example. Your patron is Katie Luther, the reformer’s truest partner, support, encourager, and reality-tester, without whom he (and all Lutherans who followed) would have been immeasurably poorer.”
If I had to pick “What Decade Am I Really From” it would apparently be The 1950s. (Determined by a preference for milkshakes, I think… the rest of my chosen options seemed more in tune with a free 60s spirit. But, hey! I don’t question the quiz gods!)
While I am something of a quiz-slut, I really do have to plead a distinct preference for the literary and artistic…
“What Musical Are You” decided that I am “The Phantom of the Opera,” and when it comes to “What Literary Heroine are You?” I happily claimed a kindred spirit with Anne Shirley of Anne of Green Gables.
According to the “What Famous Writer Are You” quiz, I most identify with the personal traits and characteristics of Tom Wolfe.
A sampling of the questions that determined that one?
A national magazine wants to do a cover story on you. You…
- Jump out the window and run for it.
- Stress out, over medicate, and pass out.
- Lock the door and close the blinds.
- Ask, “how much does it pay?
- Explain to the reporter how they’re a tool of the media machine
that is manipulating language and, therefore, ideas.
- Escape to your horse ranch.
- Get drunk, pick up the reporter at the airport in a fast car,
almost leave the reporter at the airport as you speed away,
scream at pedestrians as they pass by.
- Get drunk and regail the reporter with tales of your adventures.
- Get drunk and lament to the reporter about the poor choices you’ve made.
- Dress in your fanciest outfit, have a few drinks, and show
that reporter a time they’ll never forget.
- Dress professionally, speak with a position of authority,
and present yourself as a consummate professional.
(FYI: I was torn between the fancy outfit/good time choice and being professional, since I don’t see those as being exclusive… but I did go with the latter.)
And just today, I completed a quiz that isn’t really a quiz, but boy, did it give me the same sense of satisfaction! A writer pal posted that she “wrote like Chuck Pahluniak.” I smelled a quiz, and clicked the link.
On the I Write Like site, you don’t make random choices from seemingly arbitrary options. Instead, you paste a sample of your own writing into a little “writing analyzer” widget, which then considers your “word choice and writing style” and spits out the famous writer your words resemble.
So, I plugged in a little bit of text from a random blog post (this one, to be precise)… annnnd… drum roll, please…
I write like Margaret Atwood!
No explanation in these results, not even the vague and over-general “you understand human longing and hope” kind of pablum generated by the traditional quiz. Just the name, and the joy or heartbreak you take along with it.
But you know what? I happen to be a fan, and I’ll take it!
Funnily enough, Ms. Atwood was also a featured on the same site’s blog today, so I will leave you with her words. Heck, they might as well be my own, right?