Last weekend I saw myself on a big screen for the very first time! Even if it was only for 3 minutes, the theatre was full of people looking up at a movie screen, and there I was, traipsing right across an entire wall. Nerve wracking, I tell you.
This year I acted in one of the Seattle International Film Festival Fly Films, a yearly event where 4 directors have 3 days to shoot and 5 days of post-production. I’m so proud and not at all surprised that our film, Breathing in Wartime, turned out so beautifully—well lit, nice flow, and a lovely sense of cohesiveness. The director was specific and gracious, the crew was all-pro, and my fellow actors brought it.
It’s a little funny to be so nervous… Hundreds (thousands?) of people have seen me for much longer and in many more close-ups in both seasons of JourneyQuest. But those were on, y’know…. computer screens. And televisions, once the feature-length DVDs went out. And slightly larger projection screens at conventions.
For all of these stages—watching JQ on my monitor and then on our freaking huge inherited flat screen, and in a ballroom at a hotel— seeing myself took some getting used to. Each time, I found myself frowning in apprehensive concentration as my scenes crept closer. I just can’t help pulling my shoulders back a bit, pulling my chin away, like that tiny extra 3 inches of distance might give me some perspective, might make it less weird to see how what I thought I was doing is only sort of what shows up on film, might make me less critical… Anyhow, I guess I got used to it? At least enough that watching me walk across a wall of the Egyptian Theatre was a new level of nerves.
Here’s hoping I have a chance to get used to being on a big screen sometime.
Cheers and congratulations to all the other Fly Filmmakers this year!
Watch Breathing in Wartime and the other 2013 FLY Films!
Tickets and more information is available here: